Torrential
by FleaBee
Summary: The water has been dropping for months, but no one seems to care despite it being essential for Lister's long term survival. That is until a situation arises that almost kills them all. One-Shot


**Torrential**

 _Writers Anonymous: Alternate Format Writing Challenge 2017_

Write a story in an alternate format. What is it? It's a format in which non-traditional methods are used to tell a story, and those methods are crucial to the understanding of that story. There are many different kinds of alternate format, but for this challenge please pick from the list. Epistolary, Unusual point of view, **Rashomon effect** , Epic poem.

* * *

At one time Holly had been able to look in on every member of the one-thousand-strong crew at once. In fact, once he could look at every camera and keep all systems operating without a crew at all; they had been a formality back then. After more than three million years in service, he noticed he had started to go a little bit barmy and could no longer keep track of the meager four-man crew simultaneously. He was forced to watch over one crewmember at a time. Dave Lister was moping in the botanical garden looking between photos of Kristine Kochanski and Arnold Rimmer-who'd been brought to life by nanobots, only to die when the microorganisms started to break down the ship. Holly had been severely affected by the microorganisms himself. Dave had been inconsolable in the gardens ever since Kochanski had stolen Blue Midget and left without saying goodbye to anyone. He wasn't going to get into any trouble today.

"I wonder if I should tell Dave that Kristine is alive, but he'd just end up even more depressed...a different depressed, a depression I don't think he would recover from." Holly double checked after speaking to Dave that his voice circuits had been turned off. He'd need to come up with something new to get Dave out of his funk but was coming up with nothing. Maybe telling him was what he needed to do. Once he fixed his voice circuits.

Flicking to the next camera, he searched for Cat but couldn't find him anywhere. That meant he was somewhere out of camera range preening himself and wouldn't reappear for hours.

Another camera switch and he found Kryten mopping a corridor.

A final camera switch located the final member of the crew. Arn was a bit difficult to deal with, but Holly had a soft spot for the neurotic man. It was why he'd turned his hologram on. If he'd turned Rimmer on earlier maybe he wouldn't have gone peculiar. Back then he didn't think Arn would have lasted three million years, but now he could see he'd been wrong. The second technician with a grandeur complex was a very interesting person to watch, always mucking things up in new and interesting ways that Holly didn't even know was possible.

It was then he noticed Arn was talking. He turned his mics back on so he could hear.

"Did you say something, Arn?"

"You weren't listening; you know you should always be listening," Rimmer scolded.

If Rimmer had said something embarrassing he would be telling Holly not to eavesdrop.

"Bit of a problem with the speakers in this section," Holly said, and it was true. He had to reroute the sound system through another system he hoped wasn't important since it seemed he'd forgotten what the system was for.

"As I was saying, the water level has dropped again and is still dropping," Rimmer went into lecture mode. "I'm not sure if I really should care or not, I mean it's not like I need water. I survived without it when I was a soft-light hologram."

Arnold had spent all those years as a soft-light hologram reminding everyone he was dead, couldn't feel or touch anything, and whatever other issues he had with being made of soft-light. If they ran out of water, they'd all know because Arn would keep bringing it up. Holly watched Arn make measurements, switching the water tanks to confirm if the tank was an issue

"Holly, can you get Kryten to investigate the water loss." Arn wasn't even looking in the correct direction, this time.

He'd been thorough in his job and Holly was actually proud that he was handing it over to Kryten, though Kryten was in for a handover that was likely to melt his circuits.

Switching back to Kryten, Holly saw he was still mopping the same section of floor as earlier. As he watched the mechanoid mop the same spot over and over he forgot all about passing on Arn's message.

"Oh well, it must not have been important," Holly said to himself, content with watching Kryten for now.

Holly grew curious and moved to the camera on the other side of the door - it was flooded with water. "Where did that come from?" Holly asked.

Rimmer questioned, "Where did what come from?"

"The water, Arn, I was trying to find out where it came from."

"Why are you using that voice?" Arn asked, sounding annoyed at her.

"Oi, this is my normal voice."

"No it's not, it's from when you decided to get a computer sex change. I thought you'd got over that phase."

"I've always been a woman! I have no idea what you are talking about," Holly insisted. Arn must be losing his mind if he'd thought Holly had been male: that was Hilly. She'd always used a female avatar and voice.

Holly found herself feeling lost, more lost than usual. Pain, she was feeling pain, something she hadn't felt since the White Hole incident that took her offline, that they were supposed to forget but only did temporarily.

She flashed back to the corridor with Kryten. Water had flooded everything, including her server room. Holly only had a few moments. He had to switch vital systems over to the backup, and sever his link to Arn. She successfully managed to take Arn offline before checking what else she could fix before... "Bugger."

\- Red Dwarf -

Cat sang and danced around the room in his bathrobe as he set up his straightener, hair dryer, curling wand, wax, pants press and other beauty products. This was his own secret place and the monkeys and Bogbot would never find it. It was the only place in the whole ship that had his scent all over it.

"I need to smell more like me," he yowled, getting out a bottle of his special scent and spritzing it all over his clothes.

"Five more minutes until I can start making me look good. Of course I always look good, but I'll look even gooder."

Cat looked at himself in his mirrors from all angles. He plugged in his iron so it would be heated up and ready for his suits when he finished preening. He flicked the iron on and was surrounded by darkness.

"Hey, who turned off all the lights?" Cat asked. With the lights not coming back on, he decided to take his afternoon snooze ten minutes early.

\- Red Dwarf -

When Cat awoke from his snooze the power was still off. Worse, his straightener, curling wand, pants press and iron had all cooled down.

"Now I'm going to need to start again. When are the monkeys going to get the power back on?"

He found his emergency torch and changed out of his robe into a suit, one that was sadly not pressed. He brushed his hair back which was harder since it was lacking all its normal products.

"I look horrible. How can I go out looking like this?" Cat asked the mirror.

He left the room and ran to the vending machine. He needed food before he found the monkeys. If he was lucky the monkeys would get the power on by the time he finished his meal and no one would have to see him looking so unkempt.

"Feed me," Cat told the vending machine. The vending machine didn't reply. It was just as dead as his electronic beauty products.

Feed me," he demanded again.

When the vending machine still didn't feed him, he went to find the robot. It would feed him. It always fed the monkeys. Turning to the lift, he discovered that the lift was also out of commission.

"Do you mean I have to walk?" Cat asked the dead lift. "Me and walking, you're getting the bill for this when the monkeys have fixed the power."

Not being one to take the stairs, Cat climbed through the air vents, sniffing his way toward the mechanoid. He couldn't smell the hologram anywhere and he could smell his human buddy was in the direction of the botanical gardens. But he wouldn't be any help getting the power back on. Heck, he didn't even feed or play with him anymore and was such a bummer to be around. Cat didn't like dealing with the smeghead Rimmer if he could help it, but he at least fed him and attempted to play with him occasionally, even if he wasn't any good at it and could bore the socks off of a nun.

The air vent he came out had water below it. Cat jumped out, making sure he missed the water, and stepped carefully as he approached the droid standing in the middle of the hallway.

"All the power is out and my hairdryer isn't working," Cat complained. The droid didn't move.

"Look at me, I look terrible." Cat continued complaining. "Hey Bogbot, are you listening to me?" Cat demanded, kicking the robot, trying to get noticed. He jumped back as Kryten fell, splashing water everywhere.

"Hey, these pants are dry clean only. You got them all wet. If you didn't want to help you could've just said so." Cat stalked off, sniffing the air, looking for Goalpost Head. For a dead guy made up of only light, he emitted a scent that Cat had never liked. Despite his best efforts, Cat could not locate the hologram's scent. That left him with only one option - Lister.

Cat sneaked into the botanical gardens. Lister was sitting in the exact same position he'd been in when Cat had last seen him, looking at the photo of Office Bud Babe, pouting because she'd kicked the bucket.

"Hey bud, the power is out and I can't fix my hair or dry my pants which I did not get wet. Chewed-Pencil Head splashed them. And I can't find Flared Nostrils which normally would be a good thing, but that means I've only got you, so fix it. I'm starting to get hungry as well and the vending machines won't feed me."

Cat didn't get a response from the monkey. He really thought the shower speech would get him moving.

"Why do you have to be such a wet blanket? Officer Bud Babe's been dead before. When Alphabet Head died you didn't get upset this long. I still can't believe you missed him and wanted him back."

"Rimmer wasn't really gone. He didn't die on Starbug, it was Ace that died. I always knew there was a chance he'd come back, that he wouldn't leave me forever. With Kris, I had a second chance with her and I managed to blow it. I was a lot closer to her this time around and now I will never get to see her again. She's gone-gone. She doesn't have a holodisc backup like Rimmer or even myself," the monkey replied. It was more of a response then he usually gave.

"I don't care about what you feel about Goalpost Head and Bud Babe. I just want you to fix the power," Cat insisted.

"Why do you want me to do about it?"

"Fix it." How stupid had his buddy become since Bud Babe died?

"Get Kryten or Rimmer to do it."

Cat rolled his eyes. Didn't he know he'd already tried that and he was a last resort? "Chewed-Pencil Head is going 'bzzt' in the wet hallway and Goalpost Head has gone offline. Do I have to do everything?" Cat asked no one because he knew the floating head and the monkey weren't listening to him. He picked up the framed portrait. "If you don't fix the power I will throw Officer Bud Babe's picture in the water."

The monkey stood to his feet, looking like he was ready for a fight. Cat gleamed as he got a response, the biggest one he'd got in a month.

"Hey, leave that alone," the monkey said, making a reach for the picture. Cat stepped back, easily avoiding his buddy.

"She's gone, bud, with a capital dead and if you don't get the power on we will all be as stiff as she is. So if you don't help the picture gets it."

"You're so self-centred and insensitive."

"Me, insensitive? You're the one who is moaning about Bud Babe being dead all the time and only thinking about yourself and spending all day in here while I have to listen to Rubber-Pencil Head, Goalpost Head and The Floating Head all try to work out ways to cheer you up. Enough is enough. You're no fun anymore, bud. Alphabet Head is more fun than you are and he's a fun killer. Do you know the last time we had poker night, read Rimmer's diary, switched around toilet cleaners or washing powder, played pool or a VR game, gone on a space walk that wasn't for needed supplies, or just anything? No. You don't. Now go and fix the power so I can have a shower."

"What do you mean fix the power?" The monkey looked around as if noticing for the first time that the only light was from Cat's torch.

"Weren't you listening to anything I was saying? The power is out. I look terrible and can't fix a thing. My hair is a mess, and my suit hasn't been ironed, and Chewed-Pencil Head got my suit wet, and the vending machine can't feed me, and the obnoxious hologram is offline, and if you don't put the power back on maybe he will forget the past few years and be just like when he was new or, even better, he will hopefully stay offline forever."

"We have to get Rimmer online," Lister panicked, running blindly into the dark.

Cat grinned. Well, Office Bud Babe hadn't worked to get what he wanted, but the hologram had. As long as he could finish preening himself, he didn't really care why or if Rimmer was brought back online.

"Wait for me, buddy," Cat called.

\- Red Dwarf -

Cat watched as the monkey stumbled and tripped through the hallways. He finally turned towards Cat. "This is no good, where did you say Kryten was?"

"Swimming in the corridor," Cat replied.

"Which corridor, what floor? Never mind, just take me there."

Cat turned towards the air vent.

"The normal way, man. I can't follow through the air vents," the monkey complained. Monkeys were so stupid. Cat had no idea why they went and evolved so they couldn't climb. If monkeys had evolved properly like the cat race, his buddy would be able to follow through the air vents and keep up.

"This is the normal way. You monkeys are the weird once for wanting to take stairs."

"I didn't say stairs, we'll take the lift."

"Great idea, bud, just one minor problem - my hair dryers and my straightener and my iron aren't working."

"Yeah, so, that's because the power's out... and because the power's out, the lift will be out as well. I can't believe you figured that out before me."

"Well, you have been a zombie ever since Officer Bud Babe went missing. You were sort of one before when you had too much beer. I think that's why she died, because she couldn't stand to be around you anymore."

The monkey started to walk back in the direction of the gardens.

"No, you don't, bud," Cat said, digging his claws into Lister's shoulder. "I am getting my hairdryer tonight."

\- Red Dwarf -

"I can't believe the things I do for you, bud. I miss my shiny playthings and looking in the mirror." Cat complained the whole way up the stairs to the floor that Kryten was on. As they opened the door water started floodng down the stairs, and he leapt away.

"Smeg, Kryten's not waterproof. Help me get him up."

"And ruin these nails? No way, bud, I have already ruined my hair and trousers today. I am not ruining my nails as well," Cat stated.

Cat followed after the monkey as he moved Bogbot to another room. He was being careful not to get himself any wetter. His buddy was taking too long moving Bogbot. Cat was getting bored and wanted to go down for a snooze, but if he did the monkey would end up leaving and then the power would never be fixed.

"Cat, can you find the source of the water and stop it?" the monkey requested.

"No way, bud, do it yourself."

"If you don't stop the water, it will flood the entire ship and ruin every single one of your suits and beauty products."

"All of them?" Cat asked, horrified at the thought of having the whole ship covered in water. Cat had to save his suits. He raced through the hallways, smelling and listening for the source of the water.

He hated water, unless it was a planned bath or shower for grooming purposes. Walking around in it like this was just terrible. "At least you aren't my good shoes. I'm sorry, shoeseys, I can't keep wearing you after this. You'll never be the same. Even if I dry you out, you'll still be smelly."

Finally, he found the freshest scent of water, coming from the officers' quarters. Walking into the room he discovered a bathroom with a bath full of water.

"This is all the monkey's fault. He left the bath running," Cat exclaimed. How long ago, he wasn't sure. It had to be a long while ago. He knew it wasn't himself. As much as Rimmer annoyed him, the neurotic hologram wouldn't leave water running and it certainly wasn't Officer Bud Babe. If she ran a bath she would use it, and that only left the monkey.

He went back down the hallway and discovered that Lister wasn't any closer to fixing Bogbot. Cat walked over and picked up his torch. He had enough of this. He was going back to his room for a suit change and a snooze.

"Cat!" the monkey complained. "I need that."

Cat turned around. The monkey should know why he needed the torch more. "And I need to fix my hair. Look at it, it's a mess."

"Cat, you can fix your hair later. I need to get Kryten's voice box working."

"No way, bud, if I don't fix my hair now, it will never be fixed ever again. You can work in the dark."

"I can't see in the dark."

"Get your own torch, this one's mine." Cat held the torch close.

"No, it's not, it's from my room, that makes it mine. See?" The monkey pointed to the side of the torch with some writing on it.

"It's not your name on the torch." Cat rolled his eyes.

"Do you really want something that had Rimmer's name on it? If you don't give the torch back, I will not be able to see Kryten to get him back online and then he won't be able to help me to get my power back online and you won't be able to use your hairdryer ever again.

Cat didn't like that thought.

"If I may suggest, sirs, once I can walk we move to Starbug, it will still have power." The droid's voice crackled.

"Why didn't you say so?" Cat exclaimed, dropped the torch and racing out the door, singing about being able to look nice again. He would remain in the powered transport ship with his emergency supplies till the power was back on. And he could finally finish preening himself.

\- Red Dwarf -

Kryten didn't know what was going on with the water in this corridor. He'd mop it up and more water would be in its place. He wrung out the mop. It was all Miss Kochanski's fault that he was behind in his mopping. This floor had been due to be mopped three years ago. He emptied out the bucket and returned to find more water. Miss Kochanski's clothes had been a challenge Kryten didn't like. He enjoyed cleaning Mister Lister's clothes - they had the most wonderful stains - and Mister Rimmer's clothes - they required so much starching to get them just the way Mister Rimmer liked them. Sadly Mister Cat didn't allow Kryten to launder his clothes. But Miss Kochanski's clothes had been a whole other story-too clean, needing organizing, delicate...

Kryten looked at his mop bucket full of water. What was this, his fourth bucket? He couldn't just keep mopping and wringing out water. He had to find the source first before he could finish mopping. He went into a mode to discover the source of the water. The reports were coming back that it was originating from underneath the fire door for this corridor. Kryten pressed the button to open the door. He didn't even have time to process the amount of water behind the door as it flooded out of the room and into the corridor. Kryten stumbled backwards, somehow staying upright. He accessed his damage report.

Inundated with water. Drying time five hours. Please move from water source to run self-repair. Mobility five percent. Self-repair on backup.

Kryten watched the damage report flash before his eyes. Slowly his vision faded out and he went into shut down to preserve power until someone found him. When that would be, he didn't know, especially with the condition Mister Lister was in at the moment.

\- Red Dwarf -

Kryten activated himself again when Mister Cat came walking past. He was overjoyed that someone now knew he was wet and could get him out of the water so he could dry out and his self-repair unit could kick in. His hearing wasn't fully functional as he listened to Cat.

"Power's out ... ar .. ou ... to me ..." Mister Cat got irritated and knocked him over. That seemed to fix his hearing slightly. "My rousers wet, these PANTS ate DRY CLEAN o'rly," Kryten heard. If only he was functioning normally he'd be able to dry clean the pants. Alas, Cat left him alone on the floor in the dark. He was forced offline this time.

\- Red Dwarf -

Lister sat in the botanical gardens. In front of him was the portrait of Kristine Kochanski, the love of his life. "I'm sorry, Kris, I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most." Lister cried, apologising for everything that he should've done better. It was his fault she'd died. If he'd kept up the maintenance she would've never been sucked out a malfunctioning airlock. "I'm sorry for taking you for granted."

Lister sat in silence, reminiscing about the good times with Kristine and what he should've done differently. He found his reminiscing time to be interrupted by someone else. Kryten and Rimmer usually came around a couple of times every day to try and get him to move. He didn't want to move. He should've been the one to die instead of her. He was just a space bum who liked to laze about and drink beer and lager all day and stir Rimmer up. Kristine had so much going for her, she was smart – oh, so smart, the smartest person on the ship.

"-Wet blanket. Officer Bud Babe's been dead before," the Cat reminded Lister. "When Alphabet Head died you didn't get upset this long. I still can't believe you missed him and wanted him back."

Lister's heart tightened. He'd missed Rimmer so much when he'd left to be Ace, worried constantly that he wasn't going to come back. Then he did come back and he wondered why he'd missed the smeghead. It was like he didn't even change or grow when he'd been gone. "Rimmer wasn't really gone. He didn't die on Starbug. It was Ace that died. I always knew there was a chance he'd come back. That he wouldn't leave me forever. With Kris, I had a second chance with her and I managed to blow it. I was a lot closer to her this time around and now I will never get to see her again. She's gone gone. She doesn't have a holodisc backup like Rimmer or even myself." Lister found himself explaining out loud. He'd never told Cat or Kryten that Rimmer was once Ace.

"I don't care about what you feel about Goalpost Head and Bud Babe. I just want you to fix the power," Cat spat.

What he felt about Kristine was guilt, but Rimmer? Why would Cat bring up his feelings about Rimmer? Did Cat know he was mourning the Rimmer who was killed by the microorganism? Power? Why did the Cat want him? He couldn't fix the power? He couldn't fix anything to save his life - to save her life. "Why do you want me to do about it?" Lister dejectedly asked the Cat.

"Fix it."

Lister was in no condition to fix anything. He'd just make it worse. "Get Kryten or Rimmer to do it," Lister replied. Well, Rimmer would probably make things worse and was probably the one to wipe out the power in the first place. Kryten would be able to fix it. He could do almost anything despite being sold as a sanitation droid with a degree at Toilet University.

"If you don't fix the power," Cat threatened, "I will throw Officer Bud Babe's picture in the water."

Lister scrambled to his feet, feeling light-headed as he stood. He didn't realise the portrait had even been taken from him till Cat spoke.

"Hey, leave that alone." Lister tried to snatch the portrait back. It was her best photo and they didn't have any photo paper left in that size. They'd slowly been printing photos of the crew when they had confirmations radioed in of deaths.

Cat was faster and easily moved out the way.

"She's gone, bud, with a capital dead and if you don't get the power on we will all be as stiff as she is. So if you don't help, the picture gets it." Cat continued insulting him, making Lister's veins run cold.

"You're so self-centred and insensitive," Lister shouted out in frustration.

"Me, insensitive? You're the one who is moaning about Bud Babe being dead all the time and only thinking about yourself and spending all day in here while I have to listen to Rubber-Pencil Head, Goalpost Head and The Floating Head all try to work out ways to cheer you up. Enough is enough. You're no fun anymore, bud. Alphabet Head is more fun than you are and he's a fun killer. Do you know the last time we had poker night, read Rimmer's diary, switched around toilet cleaners or washing powder, played pool or a VR game, gone on a space walk that wasn't for needed supplies, or just anything? No. You don't. Now go and fix the power so I can have a shower."

Lister stared at Cat. Had he really become more annoying and less fun then Rimmer? When did that happen? Had Rimmer and Kryten really been trying to cheer him up all this time? He'd thought Rimmer was being his normal bossy self and Kryten was just being his normal mother hen.

"What do you mean fix the power?" Looking around the room, Lister discovered that they were in fact in the dark and the only light was from the torch Cat was holding. Cat was holding the torch in a way so he couldn't be seen, which meant that he wasn't happy about his appearance.

"Weren't you listening to anything I was saying? The power is out. I look terrible and can't fix a thing. My hair's a mess, and my suit hasn't been ironed, and Chewed-Pencil Head got my suit wet, and the vending machine can't feed me, and the obnoxious hologram is offline, and if you don't put the power back on maybe he will forget the past few years and be just like when he was new, or even better, he will hopefully stay offline forever," Cat said in a tone that suggested he'd had enough of dealing with Lister.

Lister couldn't lose Rimmer again, especially not after losing Kristine. He couldn't survive if Rimmer was gone forever as well. "We have to get Rimmer online."

He raced out the gardens into the hallway. It was dark and he couldn't see a thing and he had no idea where to even begin looking for Kryten, he needed the mechanoid's help if he was going to turn Rimmer back on and get the power back. Listening, he couldn't hear anything going which meant life support was offline. He stopped and turned towards Cat. "This is not good, where did you say Kryten was?"

"Swimming in the corridor."

Lister sighed. He didn't know where that was supposed to be. Swimming in the corridor? They didn't have any corridors they needed to swim through. "Which corridor, what floor? Never mind, just take me there."

Cat headed towards the vent, the feline-sapien's favourite way to get around when he wasn't in the mood for the lifts.

"The normal way, man, I can't follow through the air vents," Lister said with a heavy sigh.

"This is the normal way. You monkeys are the weird once for wanting to take stairs."

"I didn't say stairs, we'll take the lift."

"Great idea, bud. Just one minor problem. My hair dryers and my straightener and my iron aren't working."

"Yeah, so, that's because the power's out... and because the power's out, the lift will be out as well. I can't believe you figured that out before me." Lister felt like slapping himself if the head; of course the lift wouldn't work if all the power was out.

"Well, you have been a zombie ever since Officer Bud Babe went missing. You were sort of one before when you had too much alcohol. I think that's why she died, because she couldn't stand to be around you anymore."

If Cat was just going to insult him, he could go and fix the power himself. Lister turned to walk towards the gardens, flinching as Cat dug his flaws through his long johns and into his shoulder. "Oh no, bud, I am getting my hairdryer tonight."

\- Red Dwarf -

Lister walked in silence beside the Cat, tuning out his complaints about missing his naps and whatever else. Lister knew they'd arrived when Cat opened the door and water started to flood down the stairs. It didn't take long for Lister to find Kryten.

"Smeg, Kryten's not water proof. Help me get him up."

"And ruin these nails? No way, bud, I have already ruined my hair and trousers today. I am not ruining my nails as well," Cat said.

Lister sighed heavily. Even Rimmer would've helped if he'd been around, though he would've tried to worm his way out of it with rules and directives. On his own, Lister heaved Kryten into the nearest room and onto a bed.

"Cat, can you find the source of the water and stop it?" Lister asked, hoping the Cat would do something useful instead of complaining to him.

"No way, bud, do it yourself."

Lister told a fib that he knew would get the Cat to react. "If you don't stop the water, it will flood the entire ship and ruin every single one of your suits and beauty products."

"All of them?" Cat asked, horrified.

Lister allowed himself a smirk as he watched Cat race away. He looked over Kryten and started opening panels and allowing the water to drain out. He had to get everything dry, especially the self-repair unit, if he was going to get Kryten to work again. He was busy working, placing the last wire back in place for Kryten's self-repair when his light shifted. He turned to find the Cat walking towards a mirror with his torch.

"Cat, I need that."

"And I need to fix my hair. Look at it, it's a mess." Of course the Cat would think of number one first, even in this type of situation.

"Cat, you can fix your hair later. I need to get Kryten's voice box working." That was the next thing on the list after the self-repair unit. That way Kryten could tell him what to fix. He knew that Kryten was awake since his eyes were currently moving.

"No way, bud. If I don't fix my hair now, it will never be fixed ever again. You can work in the dark."

"I can't see in the dark."

"Get your own torch, this one's mine." Cat held the torch close.

"No it's not. It's from my room, that makes it mine. See?"

The torch had 'Property of A. J. Rimmer' written on the side. "Do you really want something that has Rimmer's name on it? If you don't give the torch back, I will not be able to see Kryten to get him back online and then he won't be able to help me to get my power back online and you won't be able to use your straighteners ever again."

"If I may suggest, sirs, once I can walk we move to Starbug, it will still have power." Kryten's voice crackled to life.

Lister dropped his spanner, startled that Kryten was able to talk already.

"Why didn't you say so?" Cat raced out of the room, dropping the torch.

Lister walked over and picked the torch up and then set it up where he'd had it before.

"How are you feeling?" Lister asked.

"7.9645 percent operational," Kryten's voiced buzzed, his mouth not yet able to move. "I suggest you fix my legs first so I can walk to Starbug for more extensive repairs."

"I can do that, Kryten," Lister agreed. He spent the next twenty minutes listening to Kryten's instructions. It wasn't a perfect fix. Kryten was only able to walk sideways and navigating the stairs was difficult. Lister struggled to help Kryten down the stairs and then up the stairs on Starbug when they finally arrived.

\- Red Dwarf -

After a meal prepared by a not yet fully functional Kryten, Lister performed the remainder of the repairs that could be done physically. Then Kryten went into downtime overnight to allow his self-repair unit to fix what it could.

Sleeping in the cramped room in Starbug was the best sleep Lister had in a long time. When he awoke the next morning he felt ready to try and help fix the Red Dwarf.

"Any idea what happened? Why do we have no power?" Lister asked Kryten over breakfast.

"From what I can gather," Kryten started to explain, "the water in the hallway has flooded the server room which houses Holly. It could be years before the equipment in the server room is dried out enough to even attempt to turn Holly back on. And once it is dry enough, there is a chance that Holly will never turn on again. For now, I suggest we start getting the backup computer working."

"Red Dwarf has a backup computer?" Lister asked in surprise. After all these years he was still learning new things about the ship he called home.

"All ships are supposed to have one. Red Dwarf's is very basic, it doesn't even talk. I've spoken to him via typed messages a couple of times when cleaning the backup server room. It has to be connected into the ship's systems manually.

Lister knew he had a lot ahead of him if he was going to get Red Dwarf back to livable condition, but he was not prepared to abandon Red Dwarf. It was his home and he'd already lost her one time too many.

\- Red Dwarf -

The next time Kryten came online he was lying down still but looking at a different roof. Mister Lister had found him. Oh, he was so happy, Mister Lister looked a lot healthier than the last time he'd seen him. He looked at the towels that Mister Lister was using to dry him out. They weren't antistatic towels. Didn't his favourite human know that he could be damaged even further with normal towels?

Mister Lister stopped working on him to talk to Mister Cat. He wasn't sure what they were saying at first, but caught the end of the argument. They both wanted the light.

"If I may suggest, sirs, once I can walk we move to Starbug. It will still have power." Kryten's voice crackled, he didn't like the way it sounded.

"How are you feeling?" Mister Lister asked. It was so nice to see his human concerned about something other than Miss Kochanski again. Oh, Kryten was so happy. If he'd known this was all it would take to get Mister Lister functioning like normal, he would've damaged himself to near death a lot sooner.

"7.9645 percent operational," Kryten's voiced buzzed. "I suggest you fix my legs first so I can walk to Starbug for more extensive repairs."

"I can do that, Kryten."

Kryten instructed Mister Lister as best he could with his voice unit not yet fully operational. Mister Lister just didn't have the skill he needed and it was a miracle that he managed to get him walking at all, even if it was sideways.

\- Red Dwarf -

Once on Starbug, Kryten made a meal for Mister Lister. He needed to feed him back up again. He'd lost too much weight mourning Miss Kochanski. He tried not to think about her while Mister Lister was around. He could not risk going into guilt mode. He could fry a circuit since he was still drying out. Oh, but he'd lied to his favourite human, told Mister Lister that Miss Kochanski was dead when in fact she'd run away, trying to get back to her own dimension.

He was pleased that Mister Lister ate the meal he provided and looked well rested the next morning. Kryten just knew that they had to get Mister Rimmer online otherwise he would fall into a slump again, just like he'd done when Mister Rimmer left to become Mister Ace. Though he still had The Rimmer Experience on file, Mister Lister had used it too many times while Mister Rimmer was away, and Kryten didn't think it would work this time around.

"Any idea what happened? Why do we have no power?" Lister asked.

"From what I can gather, the water in the hallway has flooded the server room which houses Holly. It could be years before the equipment in the server room is dried out enough to even attempt to turn Holly back on. And once it is dry enough, there is a chance that Holly will never turn on again. For now, I suggest we start getting the backup computer working."

"Red Dwarf has a backup computer?" Lister asked.

"All ships are supposed to have one. Red Dwarf's is very basic, it doesn't even talk. I've spoken to him via typed messages a couple of times when cleaning the backup server room. It has to be connected to the ship's systems manually.

\- Red Dwarf -

The next three days Kryten prioritised the jobs that would get Red Dwarf up and running. He was so happy to see Mister Lister back to his old self and finishing the provided tasks. Sadly Mister Cat didn't help at all, staying locked up in his room. Kryten sent Mister Lister to find the auxiliary drive room while he prioritised power to turn Mister Rimmer online. Whenever Mister Lister finished a task, Kryten assigned a new one. Slowly Mister Lister had gotten the power and the life support system back online.

Kryten was keeping Mister Lister away from his current task. He didn't want Mister Lister to see any potential damage to the holographic projection system. Mister Rimmer was the most important person to Mister Lister, even if he claimed otherwise. Kryten knew it, Cat knew it, as did Holly. Even Miss Kochanski knew. The only two that didn't know were Mister Rimmer and Mister Lister. It was very concerning that Mister Rimmer had gone offline in the first place. His backup power unit was meant to kick in during system failure and transfer across to Starbug's system. Mister Rimmer had finished a charging cycle the morning of the power outage, so his light bee should've been charged enough to remain online. The fact he was offline meant that he'd potentially been damaged when Holly went offline. Kryten worried such damage would be permanent. He needed to access the information and then break it gently to Mister Lister if the news was bad.

Tapping away at the console that now had enough power to read out the diagnostics and boot a hologram, Kryten was pleased to see that Rimmer had been shut down by Holly.

"Holly, you are a genius sometimes," Kryten exclaimed.

Some of Rimmer's files had been corrupted in the minutes before the accident, but there appeared to be no other permanent damage. It would take a while to boot Mister Rimmer from total shutdown. Kryten always had to click past all the messages about his personality being unsuitable for holographic regeneration.

Kryten reached for the the hand radio he'd been using to keep in contact with Mister Lister while the intercom system wasn't functional. He knew this news would make his favourite human happy. "We have enough power to boot Mister Rimmer," he said into the mic.

Mister Lister's voice came over the radio. "About time, we could really do with the extra hands."

\- Red Dwarf -

Rimmer blinked and then blinked again. He looked around. He was no longer in the storage hold. He was standing in the holographic projection suit, wearing the bright green outfit that meant he was currently running off the ship systems and not his light bee. Kryten and Lister were looking at him expectantly.

"How long was I out for?" Rimmer asked, noting that Lister looked more alive than when he'd last seen him. How long had it taken Lister to pull himself together?

"Three days, sir," Kryten informed him. Rimmer blinked. Three days wasn't so bad, and it wasn't as disorientating as hundreds of years. But it also didn't seem like enough time for Lister to recover from his morose state. What had happened in those three days for Lister to be back to himself?

Lister looked concerned as he asked, "What is the last thing you remember?"

Rimmer's mind felt fuzzy as he attempted to recall. He tried not to think about the fact he was accessing files and not memories like when he'd been alive. He knew he'd been looking at the water levels, and had a vague recollection of talking with Holly, but no memory of what they'd been talking about. But he had the sense of Holly switching between male and female and occasionally both. Then he'd been in pain and hadn't been able to identify where he was hurting. He'd felt this way before, in the years when they'd lost the Red Dwarf and had to run off Starbug's systems. Something in the background wasn't working as it should.

"I had just finished checking how much water we'd lost since yesterday. Or what still feels like yesterday to me. What's going on with Holly? Why isn't he controlling my system?"

"You noticed?" Lister looked surprised as he asked.

"It's kind of hard not to when something that was always there before is gone." Rimmer ran his hand over his H. It was the only thing he could feel when running off the holographic projection room's systems.

"Holly's offline. We can't get him back," Lister answered. "A tap was left running, it flooded the server room that houses Holly and knocked out all the backup systems."

Kryten took over. "So far, sir, we have managed to get you online, emergency power, life support and steering through the auxiliaries drive room. The main drive room is non-operational."

"Red Dwarf had an auxiliary drive room? I didn't know that. Can you get me running on my lightbee? I don't like being stuck in soft-light."

"Yes sir, we'll meet you in Starbug one," Kryten replied.

Rimmer watched Kryten tap away at the controls before blinking into the storage hanger. The lights were dim in this area. He looked down, seeing he was now wearing his red uniform which meant he was being projected by his lightbee and no longer on the ship's systems. He flipped over to hard light mode. His uniform changed to blue, and Rimmer was glad to find that everything was in order. He checked the water level before regrouping with the others and noted that it hadn't dropped as much in the three days he'd been offline.

Rimmer took report of what wasn't working as he walked towards the hanger bay. They'd survived without Holly before, they could do it again, even if he didn't like it. If worst came to worst, they'd abandon Red Dwarf. They'd had experience surviving in Starbug before, all could do it again even if they didn't want to.

"Well, gents, this is my action plan," Rimmer started explaining to the crew when he got to Starbug even though he wasn't fully updated on the situation.


End file.
